Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Loss and Life After It

This week I received some truly horrible news. I was informed that a good friend of mine had died over the Christmas season, that she had got sick and died shortly afterwards. It's always horrible when a loved one dies, but her death was so out of the blue, so sudden and that stung. Her death was unexpected, and the loss I felt was just as sudden. A few days on, I'm still sad, still shocked and I will miss her so so much.

But it got me thinking, loss is everywhere. Loss of loved ones, loss of time, loss of money. Loss is often at the root at most of our most traumatic and stressful periods. Theft - the loss of property, sickness - the loss of health, betrayal - the loss of trust. Loss effects everyone. At least in one capacity or another.

How we respond to loss tells us a lot about ourselves. With loss, comes grief and grief can be expressed though denial, anger, bargaining or depression and eventually one hopefully finds acceptance. Right now, I guess I'm at the bargaining stage; I'm doing other things, focusing on something because I don't want to think about the loss I feel. And there will be other people who deal with their feelings of loss in another way, which is okay, as long as that loss isn't always regarded or remembered as negative. 

Now, I am not saying that my friends death isn't a tragedy, because it absolutely is, but the times I spent with my friend, the laughs we shared, the joy, the stress, the quiet moments of kindness, they were wonderful. Although I may feel sad now, as it is only natural to feel, I can also be happy that I got to know her and that I am able to call her my friend.

After loss, life continues on. And for some that can seem brutal, harsh, but time doesn't stop. Loss is natural. But with loss, comes something new, and sometimes better, after. One may not see it at the time, but looking back you can see how you learned, adapted, changed and grew from that place. 

I will always miss those I have lost, and there are many other losses in my life that if I think about them too intently still cause my grief. However, with so many of these losses I can also see what I gained. I will miss my friend, but I will never forget the time we had. I feel so fortunate to have known her, and I will remember her and cherish her friendship always.


For Lindsay 
1994 - 2016 


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