Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Beating the Blues...

It's nearing the end of January. Christmas is long gone, we're all broke as hell and the news and politics of the world, much like the weather, makes you want to stay hidden under your covers and never, ever leave the safe warm snugglyness of your bed. But, alas, you do have to get up and go about your days and it's always around this time that people start to get a little blue. It happens every year. January 16th was blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year and, according to the Telegraph the bluest ever recorded so far.

I'm not going to lie to you. I am feeling it. I am tired. I'm stressed. I'm busy. Not unbearably so, but I'm feeling it. I've had terrible anxiety for the last week and a half and every day something happens that makes me want to curl up in a ball under my desk and nap my troubles away. But instead I have a coffee, have a quick mental pep talk and continue on. Once I'm home, of course I allow myself to have a rest and let go of the day. Yet still, that lingering feeling of heaviness clings on, urging me to give up, go home or get sad.

And I let it. I let myself feel sad. Not all the time and not too much, cause quite frankly no-one is that emotional and most times it would be incredibly inconvenient for so many people. But if I am sad, I let myself be sad. If I am cross, I let myself be cross. The same goes with stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness... I don't go sobbing and stomping and wailing about crying "woe is me my life is a mess" because I know I have so much good going on in my life. But when my depression and anxiety were at their worst I denied how
I felt. I hid it from the world. I was embarrassed and scared to admit how I really felt because I didn't think those around me would understand or care. I thought that my emotions defined me and I didn't want to be known as the severely depressed girl. 

It wasn't until those feeling came out in the most self destructive way possible that I realised that what I feel doesn't make me who I am. I have depression, and I have anxiety, but I am not just depressed and anxious. I am happy, and sad, and scared, and comfortable and a whole dictionary full of other adjectives. What I feel at one given moment does not define who I am permanently. Heck, it probably doesn't even define who I am for the rest of that day! 

How you feel is important. You need to acknowledge your emotions and reactions to things. But once you identify it, let it out. Let it go! (sorry I couldn't resist). Name your feelings, own it, work on it or work through it and learn how to deal with it again. That's what being healthy is all about. An athlete doesn't stop a sport completely if they pull a muscle. They stop, figure out the problem, rest, recover , stretch it out to test the muscle and start again. Your brain needs to work out using an entire spectrum of emotions. Sometimes it feels painful and you want to just give up, but don't. Please don't. Take it from me, at the point you feel like giving up that't when those emotions feel their worst and their strongest. But I am, you are, stronger than you could ever know. Keep going. Let it go. Beat the blues.

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Thanks, see you soon


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